Once upon a clean house.....

For weeks I have been thinking about starting a blog.  The whole world is doing it and you never know.....it just might be the perfect therapy for me.  We all know my tush needs LOTS of therapy ;)!   I mean for heaven sakes...I have Patrick!   Well early this evening, while cleaning out some hall cabinets, I received a clear sign it was time to start this dog gone blog!  In the top cabinet was a bunch of misalliance baby Alex memorabilia.  In one box was a group of photos I have not seen since they were sent to Walgreens for printing 5 years ago.  The first 3 photos were all "awe" moments.  Sweet Alex, his little 1 pound self, covered in wires and IV's and Phillips hand being able to cover his entire little body.  However, when I hit the 4th photo I burst into tears.  It was a preggers pic of me when I was 5 months along.  You would think the tears would be me rehashing the lost pregnancy experience since Alex came a short 4 weeks later.  Nope! It was the clean apartment in the background!  That dog gone clean apartment! The floors were vacuumed, the rug had no visible signs of being kid tested and even the IKEA coat rack in the back was BEAUTIFUL!  In a split second it hit me.....my house will NEVER be that clean again!  *Insert sobbing here*

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely know some major hormones played a huge part in my little (huge) meltdown.  For weeks I have been battling them and tonight they came to a fork in the road and decided just to walk towards Meltdown Lane.  I mean geeezzzz, its just a photo.  At the same time though, anyone with kiddos can completely understand the feeling.  We used to be organized, focused, took showers daily and for the most part came across as normal people.  I only wish I could remember the last time I had a shower 7 consecutive days.  Oh heavens to Betsy, is that pathetic or what? Anyhoo.......back to the photo.  I just realized that kids really do change everything.  I always knew being a mother would be a challenge.  I knew there would be times I would yell, scream, go in my room to cry and so on but, I also knew there would be times I would be all the positive things people would talk about. (Hmmmm, maybe I should learn some of those words?)

I honestly can not remember the last time my house looked as wonderful as my apartment did in that picture.  It was the kind of clean that even when you woke up the next morning, it was still clean!!  Doesn't that just sound soooooo dreamy?   In my silly little head I thought for sure that even though there would be challenges around me with the boys, that I would still keep a clean house, make wonderful nightly dinners, have my laundry done and have my kids reading by 3.  Well the only thing I can say about ALL those things is, ah hahahahahahahahahaha!!!  Who the heck in their right mind would think any of that was possible?  I know I know, obviously I was not in my right mind.  Apparently I wasn't in my right mind my entire non-child bearing life!  Maybe I should consider getting a full-time job.  Even if solely for childcare and a weekly maid service.  Then maybe, just maybe....I could have that amazing feeling I used to have walking into a clean....oh so clean house.   Oh well, the full-time job and thoughts of a maid service is just fantasy.  Instead I will just have to suck back the hormone induced tears, admit temporary defeat of a non spot-less house and be proud of my picked up (often vacuumed) floors, my clean yet not always folded, hung or put away clothes and a dishwasher that doesn't get emptied until it is time to fill and run another load!   Go away photo tears, go away!

 OOOOOHHHHHHHH......and before we go.....Patricks daily Patrickness!  Last week while folding laundry I was watching White Chicks.  Must say its a funny flippin movie.  Anyhoo.....I left it on while I went upstairs to put away the clothes.  Seems Patrick decided it was the perfect movie to take notes on!  You see, while at Mcds this afternoon a gentlemen and his daughter sat behind Patrick.  The little booger felt the urgent need to fill the nice man in on his new knowledge.  Knowledge that I thought I had squished after he called the plumber...the white man from the water store! Alas, I was wrong....he flipped around with an apple hanging out of his mouth, asked the man if he was eating apples too, then began his spill.  He sweetly pointed to me and said, "My mommy is white chocolate and you, you is Chocolate.  You like em Chocolate?"  (The poor poor man!) Rick - that's "chocolates" name, was VERY nice and told Patrick, "Well yes sir you are right!".  Pat responded with "Yep, uh huh", then ran to play!  Lord please help me to tame the boy that is Patrick, all while not taking away anything that is HIM.

*side note: Just got distracted from typing thanks to a one Dr. Oz. and his high water scrubs.  Love love love the man and what he is doing with his show but dude....get some high water free scrubs.*

Soon I will explain my theory on why "all the other moms lied"!